Every weekday morning, Findley and I are rushing out the door to make it to Grammies by 6:15am, so that I can make my 6:38am bus, which will get me to work on time to get home on time to be with my munkin. Every morning, the soundtrack to our lives, The Morning Show, faithfully plays in our little Subaru. This morning was no different - except it was. This is the first day back to school after the Newtown, CT mass murders. John, my favoritest DJ dedicated his amazingly awesome (
always) show 'to the children'. The 20 children (and six adults) who lost their lives. While that alone made my throat constrict and a pain of sorrow grow in my chest, moving and convening with the lump in my throat, the music, the soundtrack to our lives, was awe-inspiring.
Beginning with God Moving Over the Face of Water (Moby), throw in some M83 and some LCD Soundsystem, and all the while John was plotting to play Explosions in the sky - Yes, the same FNL theme song which makes me automatically have a gutteral response.
This is such a scary time. On top of Findley and I both grieving the anniversary of Matt's death and associated stressors and emotional disturbances, a mass murder spree took place Friday morning in Newtown, CT - at an elementary school. Those parents, who dropped off their children Friday morning, had no clue that in a few short moments, their children would be gunned down, many killed, and all traumatized for life. How can I, as a parent of a kindergartener feel safe sending my son out into the world, let alone school. I understand that in no way is it productive nor healthy to live in fear, but how are we to feel safe? After each mass shooting, we the people and even our own president ask, 'What can we do' or 'how do we move forward'. I want to scream at the top of my lungs,
'TAKE AWAY THE FUCKING GUNS'. I understand that again, that wouldn't be productive, to scream, but I just don't understand, in a country where we value our freedom, our ability to keep our country and other countries safe, we, time and time again, are unable to keep our children safe.
My only solution, is to love. Love hard, love everyone. Don't be judgemental, accept people. Be a helper. Take those little, beautiful children, hold them close, and love like you never have loved before. We never know how long we will be on this earth, so live each moment like it's your last. We have heard this cliche time and time again however, now, more than ever, is the time to do it. I know each day I will try my best to love Findley as hard as I can, because thats what he deserves, my precious little lovebug. All you need is love.
